Fuck I'm a mess right now

My emotions are all over the place. I feel so unstable. Over the past few days everything in my life has either been really up, or really down.

Friday I knew I was going to have a shitty weekend. I woke up and did laundry, and that was all that went right for a while. When I took my clothes out of the wash, all the dryers were full. So I had to drive around Ypsi and find a laundromat. And then it took me an hour and ten minutes to get to work, so I was about a half hour late. Shitty.

Then, we closed early, and I went and met Stephanie and got into my sweet costume (70's porn star!) and picked up Taylour from Ann Arbor. She took a train from Chicago to come vote! Then we went to an awesome party where most of my friends were, and it was a great time. I've been listening to the new La Dispute CD so much lately, and a line from the song "The Last Lost Continent" has been really pertinent to my life lately: "Friends and family put your hand into my hand, and put your head into my chest; you are all that I have left." The party was awesome, though. I had a really great time with really great people. Good shit.

On Saturday, I drove up to Grand Blanc to see a couple of my favorite people, Hunter and Nicole. I love these two so much, especially Hunter. He is one of my closest friends. We hung out, ate some pizza, watched some football on TV, and went and saw "Zach and Miri Make a Porno," which was fucking hilarious. I laughed so hard. It was such a good time. Oh, and they bought me candy, cigarettes, and my movie ticket. Good shit.

On the way back from the movie, my car started steaming from underneath the hood. So I called AAA and tried to get it towed, but my cell phone died so I lost the call. I figured I'd just drive the half mile back to their apartment, and figure it out from there. By the time I got back to their apartment, the hood of my car looked like a fucking fog machine. I was supposed to go back and play D and D that night, which I was really excited for. But that didn't happen. Shitty.

I called my mom and told her I was just gonna stay there tonight, and she said my dad would come get me in the morning. Hunter, Nicole, and I went out to Big Boy. I paid, because I was sick of them buying me stuff, haha. Then we came back and watched "The Strangers" with Ryan, another one of my good friends, and Jessica. After that, I slept on the couch, and gained an hour of sleep due to Daylight Savings Time. Good shit.

Woke up at 9, called work to see if I had to work, and of course I was scheduled to work at 10. Told them the story, and they said it was cool, which was awesome. My dad got there, and we poured oil and coolant into my car, and attempted to drive it back to Howell (my dad was following me in his car). Five miles down the interstate, my car overheats. Fuck my life. Shitty.

Drove my dad's car back to my house, where I watched football all day. It was actually really nice being at home, because my family was being super cool. I really enjoyed it. Oh, and I went and bought Titanic because it's a fucking awesome movie. Good shit.

Found out it going to take $1600 to fix my car, due to there being a bunch of shit wrong with it. Still figuring out how I'm going to pay my mom back. She rules. I have no money, and a lot of things I want to do with money. Mostly, I want a bunch of music stuff: pedals, a decent backup guitar, neck realignments for both my nice guitars, a nice keyboard, shirts for the band, and a demo recording. But alas, I have NO money. Shitty.

Monday I went to class, and hung out with my new bro Scott, haha. I kicked his ass not once, not twice, not three times, but FOUR TIMES in Mario Golf. I fucking rule at that game. Then came back to Howell and pretty much hung with Matt. Good shit.

Tuesday I woke up at 7 because I was so excited to go vote. Ended up going to the school first, which was fucking AWESOME. I hung out with Mrs. Malo, my all-time favorite teacher. Then I went and voted. It was one of the best experiences of my life. Fuck, Tuesday was just a super good day. Barack is the president. I fucking loved yesterday. Good shit.

Missed my class today, because I'm unmotivated. I slept like 9 and a half hours, which is a lot more sleep than I usually get. Then I went to work, and now here I am. In my room, alone. I feel so goddamn isolated lately. I feel like I have no one to talk to. There is so much I want to get off my chest, but I can't, because I feel like no one wants to hear it. I just need someone who I can tell my story to, and will listen, and be supportive. I feel like I'm just floating lately without a purpose. Like, what am I doing? What do I have going for me? I wake up, sometimes I go to class, sometimes I work, sometimes I hang out with friends. But everything feels so temporary. I mentioned a song lyric earlier. I feel like my friends and family are fading. That's probably my fault, though. I'm so terrible at opening up and talking and just being myself. No wonder I'm so lonely. I don't even know who I am.

Sorry if anyone was looking for something profound in this.