I feel incredibly unmotivated right now. I should be doing my laundry, or really anything productive, but I'm just sitting here. Doing nothing.
And the worst part is, I feel like this on a semi-regular basis. I hate it.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Me, in a nutshell
This is from a comic by Lev Yilmaz. I changed a few words here and there to make it more tailored to myself, but it's largely word-for-word.
So I saw this girl at a party the other night, and she was really really cute, and so I started wondering if she was someone who hated small talk, and didn't hang out in bars, and wasn't interested in playing games, and maybe we could fall in love right then and there, and maybe she would always hold my hand in public, and always smell good, and not complain that I don't make much money, and give me the feeling I can do anything, and tell me I'nm good-looking, and make me feel like I'm the only guy in the world, and find it endearing instead of annoying that I won't touch public phones, and make me feel like I'm going places, and want to be a vegan but loves milk and cereal too much, and not look around the room all the time when we're out at a restaurant, and never stay mad at me for too long, and make the coffee at least 50% of the time, and bonk my brains out with great regularity, and tell me I look cool when I drive, and never answer her cell phone when we're hanging out, and not talk about her ex-boyfriends all that often, and write me silly notes sometimes, and say I'm dark and mysterious even after you've known me for a while, and tell me I could be a model for a best-selling dildo, and give me backrubs on occasion, and not get mad at me when I call her when I'm drunk, and not get scared if I get really attached, and not consider it a wasted day if we never get out of bed, and have a pair of those knee-high leather boots somewhere in her closet, and not get mad that I never remember the chords for that one song she likes, and make everything all better when I have a crappy day.
So then I tried talking to her but it was all awkward for some reason so I went home.
So I saw this girl at a party the other night, and she was really really cute, and so I started wondering if she was someone who hated small talk, and didn't hang out in bars, and wasn't interested in playing games, and maybe we could fall in love right then and there, and maybe she would always hold my hand in public, and always smell good, and not complain that I don't make much money, and give me the feeling I can do anything, and tell me I'nm good-looking, and make me feel like I'm the only guy in the world, and find it endearing instead of annoying that I won't touch public phones, and make me feel like I'm going places, and want to be a vegan but loves milk and cereal too much, and not look around the room all the time when we're out at a restaurant, and never stay mad at me for too long, and make the coffee at least 50% of the time, and bonk my brains out with great regularity, and tell me I look cool when I drive, and never answer her cell phone when we're hanging out, and not talk about her ex-boyfriends all that often, and write me silly notes sometimes, and say I'm dark and mysterious even after you've known me for a while, and tell me I could be a model for a best-selling dildo, and give me backrubs on occasion, and not get mad at me when I call her when I'm drunk, and not get scared if I get really attached, and not consider it a wasted day if we never get out of bed, and have a pair of those knee-high leather boots somewhere in her closet, and not get mad that I never remember the chords for that one song she likes, and make everything all better when I have a crappy day.
So then I tried talking to her but it was all awkward for some reason so I went home.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Holy Shit
It's so fucking early right now. I can't remember the last time I was awake before 11. Is that a bad thing?
I went and saw a midnight showing of Rocky Horror last night. It was super cool. And I hung out with Chris and his girlfriend, Christy, for a good majority of the day. That was a great time. But it's being around people in love that makes me hate being a romantic. It's not that I'm bitter towards them or anything, I just feel so lonely when I'm not in a relationship.
One day, I will learn how to talk to women, I swear! haha
I went and saw a midnight showing of Rocky Horror last night. It was super cool. And I hung out with Chris and his girlfriend, Christy, for a good majority of the day. That was a great time. But it's being around people in love that makes me hate being a romantic. It's not that I'm bitter towards them or anything, I just feel so lonely when I'm not in a relationship.
One day, I will learn how to talk to women, I swear! haha
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
I love everything right now
Today was such a great day. I kicked my good friend Chris Sweet's ass in Monopoly, then went and hung out with Scott Nelson. We played some Mario Golf, which is probably one of the top 5 party games of all time.
Top Five Party Games of All-Time:
1) Super Smash Brothers (N64)
2) Mario Party (N64)
3) Mario Kart (N64)
4) Mario Golf (N64)
5) Golden Eye (N64)
Fuck dawg, N64 is the shit. I need to get me one of those ASAP!
Anyways, after two previous ass-thowpings that I gave to Mr. Nelson, he came back with a vengeance and showed me what was up. That boy is a straight up balla.
During the middle of the aforementioned game of Mario Golf; Bryan, Zach, and Breanna arrived at Scott's pad. We played another game of Mario Golf (I dominated this time, though Scott did not take part), and then they headed to the show. I went back to my place, talked to my tremendous brother, who is my best friend of all time and the straight up dopest kid around, and then went to the show.
I got there during Tiger! Tiger!'s third song, because The Elbow Room decided not to invest in a sign. So I had a rather difficult time finding the place. But their set was so good. The same cannot be said for the other two bands, however. hahahaha
After the show Scott and I headed over to his place for some straight up chilling, which was mad ballin. And now I'm eating cereal. Apple Jacks = the shit.
Today was such a great day. I have so many great people around me, and I feel so lucky to have them all in my life. I love everything!
Top Five Party Games of All-Time:
1) Super Smash Brothers (N64)
2) Mario Party (N64)
3) Mario Kart (N64)
4) Mario Golf (N64)
5) Golden Eye (N64)
Fuck dawg, N64 is the shit. I need to get me one of those ASAP!
Anyways, after two previous ass-thowpings that I gave to Mr. Nelson, he came back with a vengeance and showed me what was up. That boy is a straight up balla.
During the middle of the aforementioned game of Mario Golf; Bryan, Zach, and Breanna arrived at Scott's pad. We played another game of Mario Golf (I dominated this time, though Scott did not take part), and then they headed to the show. I went back to my place, talked to my tremendous brother, who is my best friend of all time and the straight up dopest kid around, and then went to the show.
I got there during Tiger! Tiger!'s third song, because The Elbow Room decided not to invest in a sign. So I had a rather difficult time finding the place. But their set was so good. The same cannot be said for the other two bands, however. hahahaha
After the show Scott and I headed over to his place for some straight up chilling, which was mad ballin. And now I'm eating cereal. Apple Jacks = the shit.
Today was such a great day. I have so many great people around me, and I feel so lucky to have them all in my life. I love everything!
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Being Germaphobic
I'm germaphobic. And this is incredibly frustrating at times. I want to check books out from the library and read more, but I can't because I'm afraid of what's in them. I seem like an asshole everytime someone offers me food, because I decline due to being afraid to touch the food without washing my hands. When someone I'm around coughs or sneezes or seems sick, I try and end conversation or move away from them because I don't want to catch what they have. I have wasted countless amounts of food because while I'm eating it I drop it or it brushes up against something. I don't like people touching my things, because I don't want them to get their germs on them. My hands are dry as hell because I wash my hands or use hand sanitizer upwards of 30 times a day.
And the worst part of all of this is that this is incredibly funny to most people. I wish I could eat or drink or do whatever like you can without thinking, but I can't. It's not like I woke up one day and decided that I want to be germaphobic. This is something in my head that has been here since 9th grade, and I don't have a fucking clue why I am the way I am. Hygiene seems like such a trivial thing to so many people, but it's the main thing on my mind at all times.
Sorry, it's been a really up and down night for me.
And the worst part of all of this is that this is incredibly funny to most people. I wish I could eat or drink or do whatever like you can without thinking, but I can't. It's not like I woke up one day and decided that I want to be germaphobic. This is something in my head that has been here since 9th grade, and I don't have a fucking clue why I am the way I am. Hygiene seems like such a trivial thing to so many people, but it's the main thing on my mind at all times.
Sorry, it's been a really up and down night for me.
Thoughts after my cancelled class
I've been inspired by the people around me to start blogging, so here I go!
My 12:30 class was cancelled today. I love when my classes get cancelled! I love it a little too much, actually, haha.
I don't know how I feel about college. I'm not sure why I'm here sometimes. If I really had my way, I would drop out of school and just play music. But there are several problems with that. Namely, I don't think my band mates really share that desire with me. So alas, I am stuck here, going through the motions of college.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being here. I have some enjoyable classes, I've made some great friends, and living in the dorms on my own is definitely nice. However, I wish I could do all that and have music be my "job." I've thought so long about what I want to do with my life. Sure, I could buckle down and work and become some sort of business-man, and make a good deal of money. Or I could read and study for years, get my degree, become a high school English teacher, and have a really rewarding job. But I'm not sure that's what I want to do with my life.
Is that selfish of me?
My 12:30 class was cancelled today. I love when my classes get cancelled! I love it a little too much, actually, haha.
I don't know how I feel about college. I'm not sure why I'm here sometimes. If I really had my way, I would drop out of school and just play music. But there are several problems with that. Namely, I don't think my band mates really share that desire with me. So alas, I am stuck here, going through the motions of college.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being here. I have some enjoyable classes, I've made some great friends, and living in the dorms on my own is definitely nice. However, I wish I could do all that and have music be my "job." I've thought so long about what I want to do with my life. Sure, I could buckle down and work and become some sort of business-man, and make a good deal of money. Or I could read and study for years, get my degree, become a high school English teacher, and have a really rewarding job. But I'm not sure that's what I want to do with my life.
Is that selfish of me?
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