Bullshit Revelations

So my band played at Battle of the Bands yesterday. We placed third, which I am not at all upset with. In fact, I'm quite pleased.

However, I am really upset with my friends. A decent amount of my friends had nothing going on yesterday, yet didn't come out. I don't think they realize how important music is to me. I'm not at all upset with people who had stuff going on and couldn't make it. In fact some of my friends that couldn't make it texted me to let me know they couldn't make it, and wished me good luck. That meant just as much as being there. I love those people for that.

But seriously, my dad has a fucking broken leg and he drove himself out, stood in the back with his crutches, and watched me play. Yet my friends who didn't have to work and weren't doing anything didn't come. What the fuck guys.

To the people who came out, or who couldn't come out but at least let me know they tried their hardest to come out, thank you so much. And to my friends who would have come out if they didn't have anything (work, other shows, etc) going on, thank you just as much. I love you guys. You are my truest friends, and you know me well enough to know what I dream for. You are the best, and I love each and every one of you.

To the rest of you, who maybe missed our set to go to a party, well let's just say I'm going to re-assess our friendship.

/rant

I'm really excited to get a new guitarist in! haha And we have two shows coming up in the next 20 days that I'm really excited for. Plus we're going to go and get a song recorded for the Roots compliation CD very soon. Fuck yeah!

This weekend is going to kick some butt!

LOL

I'm really excited for Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Hopefully Sunday as well, so long as I don't have to work. Please, if you read this, come out to Battle of the Bands on Saturday. It would mean the world to me.

I love everything!

Fuck tha Po-lice!

I got pulled over tonight, and got a ticket. Ran a red light, haha. Whoops, my bad.

I feel really optimistic about my band right now. I think 2009 is going to be a good year for us. I cannot wait until Battle of the Bands. If you're reading this, please head over to our myspace (http://myspace.com/goodweatherforairstrikesband) and check out what you can do to help us promote. We're giving away two tickets for our show on December 30th in Howell with Chris Bathgate to the best promoter!

I'm loving everything about my life right now.

Go see my brother in "A Christmas Carol" this weekend! He rules.

Band stuff

So David, my band's lead guitarist, decided to leave Good Weather for Airstrikes, the band I'm in. It left on good terms, so there's no hard feelings.

If you know any really good guitarists, let me know!

Thanksgiving week was really great. A ton of family was over, which was awesome. I also saw my friends a lot, which I really enjoyed.

Kyle, Megan, and I had a ballin birthday party on Friday, which was a lot of fun and a lot of bad at the same time. My drunken mistake has been resolved with others, but not not myself.

I've liked this girl for years, literally. And I feel like I may have messed things up. I'm really upset with myself because of it.

This blog was supposed to be a place for me to put my thoughts and feelings into words. Yet I find myself holding back.

Almost Thanksgiving

I really like where things are at right now. I'm glad to be home for the rest of the week. I'm a bit excited to see some extended family, but I may need to leave the house at some point, haha. They can be a bit overwhelming. Also, I feel really close with Matt right now, and I love that.

I've been given the duty of saying the Thanksgiving toast. I have a pretty good idea of what I want to say. The pressure is on! haha

On an unrelated note, I would really enjoy playing music for the rest of my life.

Growing Up

What happens to innocence? What turns kids who just wanted to go outside and play on the weekend into kids who want to stay inside and drink on the weekend? What makes kids go from laughing to swearing, dancing to having sex? What makes kids who thought smoking was "stupid" start smoking?

At what point do these changes happen?

Each and every one of us was once an innocent child. Every pot head, every criminal, every high school dropout was once an innocent child.

I remember when I used to go outside and play Power Rangers with my friends, and that was the best time I could possibly have. Now look at me. What happened?

I hate being poor

So I met this super nice Irish lad tonight. He had this ballin Irish accent, and pretty much told me his life story, haha. He had some dental work done, and needed like $16 so he could pick up the prescription for his painkillers. He said his head was killing him. Unfortunately, I have no money so I could not help him out. I felt so terrible afterwards.

Current Winter Wishlist

1) Pea coat
2) Scarf
3) Plenty of sweaters
4) Long johns!

Currently

1) I am super pissed that the Chase online banking site isn't working. I need (excuse me, want) to know how much I have in my bank account so I can get a shortboard for my amp. I need to have $100... I think I do.

2) The new Kanye West CD is so fucking dope.

3) No Friday classes next semester! My classes are: Chemisty & Society, Philosophy of Religion, American Government, and Quantitative Methods in Psychology. Next semester could make or break my college career. And my life....

Pissed

FUCK your God.

On an unrelated note, my brother got into MSU. He's the shit.

Weekend

I had a pretty solid weekend. Friday night DnD was awesome, and I had a lot of fun at our show as well on Saturday. Bill got pulled over on the way up, which is hilarious because I was driving faster than him.

I had a major n00b moment at the show, however. I was trying to use my violin bow, and didn't have my guitar plugged in. It took me like four minutes to realize this, haha. Oh well.

Hopefully the week goes pretty well!

Fuck I'm a mess right now

My emotions are all over the place. I feel so unstable. Over the past few days everything in my life has either been really up, or really down.

Friday I knew I was going to have a shitty weekend. I woke up and did laundry, and that was all that went right for a while. When I took my clothes out of the wash, all the dryers were full. So I had to drive around Ypsi and find a laundromat. And then it took me an hour and ten minutes to get to work, so I was about a half hour late. Shitty.

Then, we closed early, and I went and met Stephanie and got into my sweet costume (70's porn star!) and picked up Taylour from Ann Arbor. She took a train from Chicago to come vote! Then we went to an awesome party where most of my friends were, and it was a great time. I've been listening to the new La Dispute CD so much lately, and a line from the song "The Last Lost Continent" has been really pertinent to my life lately: "Friends and family put your hand into my hand, and put your head into my chest; you are all that I have left." The party was awesome, though. I had a really great time with really great people. Good shit.

On Saturday, I drove up to Grand Blanc to see a couple of my favorite people, Hunter and Nicole. I love these two so much, especially Hunter. He is one of my closest friends. We hung out, ate some pizza, watched some football on TV, and went and saw "Zach and Miri Make a Porno," which was fucking hilarious. I laughed so hard. It was such a good time. Oh, and they bought me candy, cigarettes, and my movie ticket. Good shit.

On the way back from the movie, my car started steaming from underneath the hood. So I called AAA and tried to get it towed, but my cell phone died so I lost the call. I figured I'd just drive the half mile back to their apartment, and figure it out from there. By the time I got back to their apartment, the hood of my car looked like a fucking fog machine. I was supposed to go back and play D and D that night, which I was really excited for. But that didn't happen. Shitty.

I called my mom and told her I was just gonna stay there tonight, and she said my dad would come get me in the morning. Hunter, Nicole, and I went out to Big Boy. I paid, because I was sick of them buying me stuff, haha. Then we came back and watched "The Strangers" with Ryan, another one of my good friends, and Jessica. After that, I slept on the couch, and gained an hour of sleep due to Daylight Savings Time. Good shit.

Woke up at 9, called work to see if I had to work, and of course I was scheduled to work at 10. Told them the story, and they said it was cool, which was awesome. My dad got there, and we poured oil and coolant into my car, and attempted to drive it back to Howell (my dad was following me in his car). Five miles down the interstate, my car overheats. Fuck my life. Shitty.

Drove my dad's car back to my house, where I watched football all day. It was actually really nice being at home, because my family was being super cool. I really enjoyed it. Oh, and I went and bought Titanic because it's a fucking awesome movie. Good shit.

Found out it going to take $1600 to fix my car, due to there being a bunch of shit wrong with it. Still figuring out how I'm going to pay my mom back. She rules. I have no money, and a lot of things I want to do with money. Mostly, I want a bunch of music stuff: pedals, a decent backup guitar, neck realignments for both my nice guitars, a nice keyboard, shirts for the band, and a demo recording. But alas, I have NO money. Shitty.

Monday I went to class, and hung out with my new bro Scott, haha. I kicked his ass not once, not twice, not three times, but FOUR TIMES in Mario Golf. I fucking rule at that game. Then came back to Howell and pretty much hung with Matt. Good shit.

Tuesday I woke up at 7 because I was so excited to go vote. Ended up going to the school first, which was fucking AWESOME. I hung out with Mrs. Malo, my all-time favorite teacher. Then I went and voted. It was one of the best experiences of my life. Fuck, Tuesday was just a super good day. Barack is the president. I fucking loved yesterday. Good shit.

Missed my class today, because I'm unmotivated. I slept like 9 and a half hours, which is a lot more sleep than I usually get. Then I went to work, and now here I am. In my room, alone. I feel so goddamn isolated lately. I feel like I have no one to talk to. There is so much I want to get off my chest, but I can't, because I feel like no one wants to hear it. I just need someone who I can tell my story to, and will listen, and be supportive. I feel like I'm just floating lately without a purpose. Like, what am I doing? What do I have going for me? I wake up, sometimes I go to class, sometimes I work, sometimes I hang out with friends. But everything feels so temporary. I mentioned a song lyric earlier. I feel like my friends and family are fading. That's probably my fault, though. I'm so terrible at opening up and talking and just being myself. No wonder I'm so lonely. I don't even know who I am.

Sorry if anyone was looking for something profound in this.

I'm so proud

Last night was one of the greatest moments of my life. I am so glad to own a piece of history. Here's to 4, hopefully 8, years of prosperity.

So....

So I just watched Titanic and cried my eyes out...say what you will, but that movie is fucking sad, and beautiful.

I'm upset about a lot of things right now. I'm gonna go off and be misanthropic for a bit.

I hate money. I hate the fact that we go to school and get a job and all this shit and the only way we are measured as being successful is how much money we have. FUCK that. Money is nothing. Money will get you no where.

I also really hate girls in general right now. They fucking manipulate shit and make us feel like shit if we don't do everything right. I'm so glad I'm not in a relationship right now. I don't think I'm going to get in one anytime soon. Which sucks, because I consider myself a romantic and feel like a failure if I'm not in a relationship. I just want to find a girl who I can be myself around, and is supportive, and doesn't want to talk or hang out all the fucking time, but still be willing to drop whatever to come see me if I'm having a shitty day. Someone who can play the piano and or sing, and doesn't wear makeup all the time but still look great. Someone who loves something as much as I love music, and understand that that comes first for me, and doesn't want to have sex until it's absolutely the right time, no matter how long it would take to get to that time. Yeah, I'm gonna be single for a while.

I hate how my happiness varies from day to day. I can have days where I absolutely love my life, and then I have days where I hate everything about it.

I just want some god damn consistency every now and again.

Oh, and another thing I hate is religion. Fuck that.

Wow

I feel incredibly unmotivated right now. I should be doing my laundry, or really anything productive, but I'm just sitting here. Doing nothing.

And the worst part is, I feel like this on a semi-regular basis. I hate it.

Me, in a nutshell

This is from a comic by Lev Yilmaz. I changed a few words here and there to make it more tailored to myself, but it's largely word-for-word.

So I saw this girl at a party the other night, and she was really really cute, and so I started wondering if she was someone who hated small talk, and didn't hang out in bars, and wasn't interested in playing games, and maybe we could fall in love right then and there, and maybe she would always hold my hand in public, and always smell good, and not complain that I don't make much money, and give me the feeling I can do anything, and tell me I'nm good-looking, and make me feel like I'm the only guy in the world, and find it endearing instead of annoying that I won't touch public phones, and make me feel like I'm going places, and want to be a vegan but loves milk and cereal too much, and not look around the room all the time when we're out at a restaurant, and never stay mad at me for too long, and make the coffee at least 50% of the time, and bonk my brains out with great regularity, and tell me I look cool when I drive, and never answer her cell phone when we're hanging out, and not talk about her ex-boyfriends all that often, and write me silly notes sometimes, and say I'm dark and mysterious even after you've known me for a while, and tell me I could be a model for a best-selling dildo, and give me backrubs on occasion, and not get mad at me when I call her when I'm drunk, and not get scared if I get really attached, and not consider it a wasted day if we never get out of bed, and have a pair of those knee-high leather boots somewhere in her closet, and not get mad that I never remember the chords for that one song she likes, and make everything all better when I have a crappy day.

So then I tried talking to her but it was all awkward for some reason so I went home.

Blah blah blah

I really hate being sick. I feel like a big old pile of shit.

Now that's a visual.

Holy Shit

It's so fucking early right now. I can't remember the last time I was awake before 11. Is that a bad thing?

I went and saw a midnight showing of Rocky Horror last night. It was super cool. And I hung out with Chris and his girlfriend, Christy, for a good majority of the day. That was a great time. But it's being around people in love that makes me hate being a romantic. It's not that I'm bitter towards them or anything, I just feel so lonely when I'm not in a relationship.

One day, I will learn how to talk to women, I swear! haha

I love everything right now

Today was such a great day. I kicked my good friend Chris Sweet's ass in Monopoly, then went and hung out with Scott Nelson. We played some Mario Golf, which is probably one of the top 5 party games of all time.

Top Five Party Games of All-Time:

1) Super Smash Brothers (N64)
2) Mario Party (N64)
3) Mario Kart (N64)
4) Mario Golf (N64)
5) Golden Eye (N64)

Fuck dawg, N64 is the shit. I need to get me one of those ASAP!

Anyways, after two previous ass-thowpings that I gave to Mr. Nelson, he came back with a vengeance and showed me what was up. That boy is a straight up balla.

During the middle of the aforementioned game of Mario Golf; Bryan, Zach, and Breanna arrived at Scott's pad. We played another game of Mario Golf (I dominated this time, though Scott did not take part), and then they headed to the show. I went back to my place, talked to my tremendous brother, who is my best friend of all time and the straight up dopest kid around, and then went to the show.

I got there during Tiger! Tiger!'s third song, because The Elbow Room decided not to invest in a sign. So I had a rather difficult time finding the place. But their set was so good. The same cannot be said for the other two bands, however. hahahaha

After the show Scott and I headed over to his place for some straight up chilling, which was mad ballin. And now I'm eating cereal. Apple Jacks = the shit.

Today was such a great day. I have so many great people around me, and I feel so lucky to have them all in my life. I love everything!

Being Germaphobic

I'm germaphobic. And this is incredibly frustrating at times. I want to check books out from the library and read more, but I can't because I'm afraid of what's in them. I seem like an asshole everytime someone offers me food, because I decline due to being afraid to touch the food without washing my hands. When someone I'm around coughs or sneezes or seems sick, I try and end conversation or move away from them because I don't want to catch what they have. I have wasted countless amounts of food because while I'm eating it I drop it or it brushes up against something. I don't like people touching my things, because I don't want them to get their germs on them. My hands are dry as hell because I wash my hands or use hand sanitizer upwards of 30 times a day.

And the worst part of all of this is that this is incredibly funny to most people. I wish I could eat or drink or do whatever like you can without thinking, but I can't. It's not like I woke up one day and decided that I want to be germaphobic. This is something in my head that has been here since 9th grade, and I don't have a fucking clue why I am the way I am. Hygiene seems like such a trivial thing to so many people, but it's the main thing on my mind at all times.

Sorry, it's been a really up and down night for me.

Thoughts after my cancelled class

I've been inspired by the people around me to start blogging, so here I go!

My 12:30 class was cancelled today. I love when my classes get cancelled! I love it a little too much, actually, haha.

I don't know how I feel about college. I'm not sure why I'm here sometimes. If I really had my way, I would drop out of school and just play music. But there are several problems with that. Namely, I don't think my band mates really share that desire with me. So alas, I am stuck here, going through the motions of college.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being here. I have some enjoyable classes, I've made some great friends, and living in the dorms on my own is definitely nice. However, I wish I could do all that and have music be my "job." I've thought so long about what I want to do with my life. Sure, I could buckle down and work and become some sort of business-man, and make a good deal of money. Or I could read and study for years, get my degree, become a high school English teacher, and have a really rewarding job. But I'm not sure that's what I want to do with my life.

Is that selfish of me?